Since addressing my eating habits, I keep thinking back to a time when I felt best in my body and thought less about food: freshman year.
While many people put on the Freshman 15, I lost weight. My life was walking-centric rather than car-centric because I moved from a farm to a major city.
I ate at the cafeteria where there was a full salad bar with fresh veggies already prepared. Plus that salad bar usually looked more appetizing than the general entrees.
So, I ate lots of veggies, walked a lot, and had my “sweet” after classes: usually a Little Debbie cake or a serving of cookies and a diet soda. I had to pay for these things myself, so I definitely only had one serving and made them stretch because money.
And that’s where I want to get with food again. God made food taste good! He nourishes our bodies not with bland, drinkable nutrition (here’s looking at you Soylent) but with tart fruits and savory cheeses and any manner of good things. He could have just made Soylent, but He didn’t.
Food is good and it’s for our good. It’s just my selfishness that gets it wrong, and then my body follows the new pattern.
It’s hard to say all of this out into the internet. It feels really dumb, but it’s also sparked some great conversations. A wise friend has been right there with me, but I am fortunate to glean from her experience. Today she said (edited for bloginess):
It has been a humbling journey for me as I realize that there are so many triggers that I learned to satiate with food. Having the boundaries was instrumental in helping me identify how much snacking/treats were my go-to.As you talk of when you were healthiest, that was my prayer & heart cry. Why is it when I go to Kenya I am able to reset? I cannot go back as often as I did before and why can I not do it here?The problem was not location, situation or people. Had to stop looking outside me for the solution.That was when the hardest journey began, that it was my heart. Calling it what God calls it–sin–was the toughest part.By God’s grace, He has continued to help me to get to that reset place. I have finally lost those extra pounds and still totally clinging to the Lord knowing how “prone to wander, Lord I feel it” I know my weakness and leaning on Him, not my self will or determination.
It’s encouraging to me to know that I’m not alone in struggling with what I put in my mouth. I hope that you’re encouraged, too.
I may never lose the pooch that bothers me, but I’m hopeful that I can turn my heart from something that will never satisfy to the only One who ever will–that would be enough.